Temple Baptist Life

Two elderly, excited Southern women were sitting together in the front pew of church listening to a fiery preacher. When this preacher condemned the sin of stealing, these two ladies cried out at the tops of their lungs, “AMEN, BROTHER!” When the preacher condemned the sin of lust, they yelled again, “PREACH IT, REVEREND!” And when the preacher condemned the sin of lying, they jumped to their feet and screamed, “RIGHT ON, BROTHER! TELL IT LIKE IT IS… AMEN!” But when the preacher condemned the sin of gossip, the two got very quiet. One turned to the other and said, “He’s quit preaching and now he’s meddlin’.”In this article I want to be “meddlin’”.

Have you ever said something and then wished immediately you had not said it? That happens to everyone who can communicate. It would be so great to be able to gather our words back and do away with the effects of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. But the reality is that we cannot put our words back into our minds and mouths. It is like trying to put toothpaste back into the tube after it has been squeezed out. Jesus said in Matthew 12:34 “… For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.”

Our heart needs to be changed if our tongues are to be ultimately controlled. But after that, many still struggle with their tongues. To see our tongues controlled by the Lord, we need to be willing to let Him control it.

The Bible refers to the tongue (actually what we say) as an unbridled horse, a fire, evil, careless, and any number of other things that gets us into trouble and dispenses hurt to those we speak.

We do a lot of talking and some of it is not very kind or nice. There is a sin called gossip. We tend to forget that from time to time. It comes out of the desire to share news or what we think is new about someone. It seems that this is a trait that is naturally born into us all.

Four preachers met for a friendly gathering. Thought it would be good to confess sins to one another. Pastor 1 would sneak off occasionally to a bar outside of town and get drunk. Pastor 2 liked to go gambling. Pastor 3 was addicted to smoking and would leave the church regularly to go have a smoke. Pastor 4 did not want to confess what His big sin was. Finally, He said, “Well, I guess I should have gone first. You see, I am an incurable gossip and I can hardly wait to get out of here!”

When we discuss someone behind their back, we are gossiping. Being in the ministry opens one up to being talked about. I have often said it is better to talk to me than about me. When we pass along information that could damage someone, we are gossiping. We need to ask ourselves the following questions before we talk about someone else.

These questions form an acronym – THINK
T—Is it true?
H—Is it helpful?
I—Is it inspiring?
N—Is it necessary?
K—Is it kind?

If we can’t answer any of these in the positive, then we should think twice about saying anything.

So we see that words that are gossip dishonor the Lord and usually bring problems to our own life. We see that we need to have our tongues sanctified so that we can have better control over what we say. The problem is that no man can tame the tongue as James tells us. Man may not be able to, but with the power of the Holy Spirit we can tame our tongues. Let’s keep ourselves from calamity and refrain from words that are careless and dishonor the Lord and move on to words that are thoughtful and glorify the Lord.

Let’s replace words that are Gossip with Words that Forgive. Colossians 3:13 says, “bearing with one another, and forgiving one another; if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.”

Often times, when we hear gossip, or rumors, or the latest juicy details on someone else, it is usually something negative and something that makes us angry or think poorly of someone else. This is what often leads us to tell someone else what we have heard.

Instead of getting angry or thinking poorly, we need to think forgivingly and be ready to forgive with our words and actions.

I have done quite a bit of counseling. And if there is one thing I have learned, there are always facts, or information that is important and that is not contained in the things you have heard.

Whenever one person tells me their side, I know there is another side. Whenever I hear a rumor or gossip,

I try not to let it shade my thinking because I suspect there are things that I just don’t know.

So I forgive what I hear. I give the benefit of the doubt. If it is someone that I am in close relationship with, I will talk to them about it.

If it is someone I don’t know very well, I forgive and try to stop the rumor by saying, “Well there are things we just don’t know that may be going on in that person’s life or other important facts that we don’t know. Forgive, if there is anything to forgive and continue on and do not let it hinder your view of that person.

Do not give Satan a foothold.

Replace words that are unwholesome with words that encourage.

Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

The words that we let roll off of our tongues should be encouraging other people. Instead of using words that offend, use words that build up. When someone makes a mistake, don’t scream and cuss them out, encourage them to do better next time. Look for ways to make someone’s day. Let them know they did a good job with something. Let them know how something they did positively affected you.

Don’t just tell people when something is not right, let them know when things are going well.

Have you ever had a person that you always knew had a complaint about something? Whenever you saw them, you knew you were going to be hearing how things weren’t just right in some area. You never heard about the areas where things were going well.

Don’t be that person. Be an encourager. When you are an encourager, people will want to be around you. Fill your speech with words that encourage. Finally, you want to replace words that are lies with Words that are True and Loving.

Psalm 51:6 Surely you desire truth in the inner parts;

Ephesians 4:15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.

God wants us to be truthful. We glorify God when we are truthful. We do however have to speak truth in a loving way. All of our communication needs to be sprinkled with love. If we don’t have love, our communication is just noise.

Sometimes we speak the truth, but unlovingly. Husbands and wives, are you communicating truth in love or are you seeking to tear down the other person when you are angry? Other times we think we may be loving someone by lying. We need to be willing to talk truth to people.

It is going to be hard sometimes. Often we are afraid of hurting someone’s feelings. We don’t do any favors to people when we are not honest with them. I struggle myself with this issue sometimes. I don’t like anyone to feel bad about something, but sometimes people are just not designed to do certain things.

Honesty in Love is always best.

My Name is Gossip. I have no respect for justice. I maim without killing. I break hearts and ruin lives. I am cunning, malicious and gather strength with age. The more I am quoted, the more I am believed. I flourish at every level of society. My victims are helpless. They cannot protect themselves against me because I have no name and no face. To track me down is impossible. The harder you try, the more elusive I become. I am nobody’s friend. Once I tarnish a reputation, it is never that same. I topple governments and wreck marriages. I ruin careers and cause sleepless nights, heartaches and indigestion. I spawn suspicion and generate grief. I make headlines and headaches. Remember, before you repeat a story, ask yourself: Is it true? Is it fair? Is it necessary?? If not, do not repeat it, KEEP QUIET!

For now I will KEEP QUIET!